Questions answered by Jill Helsel, Chapter Coordinator, Americas Region at PTPI
11. What do you believe is more important – happiness or self-respect? (P. 225 “Their reward is not happiness – a word that is central in Jane Austen’s novels but is seldom used in Henry James‘ universe. What James’ characters gain is self-respect.)
It is very difficult for me to say which is more important, happiness or self-respect. It seems that this would depend upon the situation at hand. In most instances, I would tend to say that self-respect takes precedence over happiness. In one sense, being unhappy can impact so many other facets of your life and can also spread to others like a disease. But if you sacrifice your self-respect in order to gain happiness, I don’t see that as true happiness in the first place or at the least, it is not a happiness that can stand the test of time. Eventually that loss of self-respect is likely to catch up to you and the happiness will wear off.
In Reading Lolita in Tehran, Nafisi talks of James’ characters on p. 225, stating that “It is because these characters depend to such a high degree on their own sense of integrity that for them, victory has nothing to do with happiness. It has more to do with a settling within oneself, a movement inward that makes them whole”. In this sense, happiness without self-respect can leave a person feeling empty or incomplete, as if something is missing.
12. What lessons can be learned from the book? What is your take-away?
There are so many lessons to be learned from Reading Lolita in Tehran. I think those lessons may be different for each reader, depending upon his or her background and life experiences. For me, the most important thing I learned from this book is to always value my freedom, particularly the freedom to learn new things, develop and share my opinions with others and to live without fear. These are freedoms that have always been so second-nature to me that I often forget to be thankful for them.
I’ve also learned that while it is of great importance not to take for granted the freedoms I am so fortunate to have, it is of equal importance not to forget those in this world who do not have such freedoms. After reading this book, I will make a stronger effort to avoid becoming too content with the comfortable life I live. It is great to be happy and thankful for the life you have, but I feel it should never come to the point where it clouds your ability to see the pain and suffering that is taking place in the lives of others.
The opinions expressed by PTPI staff and other book club members are entirely their own and are not necessarily the views of People to People International or that of PTPI’s Officers, Board of Directors and Board of Trustees.
