Questions answered by Jill Helsel, Chapter Coordinator, Americas Region at PTPI
11. What do you believe is more important – happiness or self-respect? (P. 225 “Their reward is not happiness – a word that is central in Jane Austen’s novels but is seldom used in Henry James‘ universe. What James’ characters gain is self-respect.)
It is very difficult for me to say which is more important, happiness or self-respect. It seems that this would depend upon the situation at hand. In most instances, I would tend to say that self-respect takes precedence over happiness. In one sense, being unhappy can impact so many other facets of your life and can also spread to others like a disease. But if you sacrifice your self-respect in order to gain happiness, I don’t see that as true happiness in the first place or at the least, it is not a happiness that can stand the test of time. Eventually that loss of self-respect is likely to catch up to you and the happiness will wear off.
In Reading Lolita in Tehran, Nafisi talks of James’ characters on p. 225, stating that “It is because these characters depend to such a high degree on their own sense of integrity that for them, victory has nothing to do with happiness. It has more to do with a settling within oneself, a movement inward that makes them whole”. In this sense, happiness without self-respect can leave a person feeling empty or incomplete, as if something is missing.
12. What lessons can be learned from the book? What is your take-away?
There are so many lessons to be learned from Reading Lolita in Tehran. I think those lessons may be different for each reader, depending upon his or her background and life experiences. For me, the most important thing I learned from this book is to always value my freedom, particularly the freedom to learn new things, develop and share my opinions with others and to live without fear. These are freedoms that have always been so second-nature to me that I often forget to be thankful for them.
I’ve also learned that while it is of great importance not to take for granted the freedoms I am so fortunate to have, it is of equal importance not to forget those in this world who do not have such freedoms. After reading this book, I will make a stronger effort to avoid becoming too content with the comfortable life I live. It is great to be happy and thankful for the life you have, but I feel it should never come to the point where it clouds your ability to see the pain and suffering that is taking place in the lives of others.
The opinions expressed by PTPI staff and other book club members are entirely their own and are not necessarily the views of People to People International or that of PTPI’s Officers, Board of Directors and Board of Trustees.
Tags: Azar Nafisi, Global Book Club, Reading Lolita in Tehran
Update,
Zambia youth academy is zambia community organization and youths driven to empowering both girls and boys in sports, education,health,arts, life skills and sports to change their lives.
Looking foorward to started a group in how to read and write.
I just finished reading the book’ Reading Lolita in Tehran’. I had seen this book at Borders book store a few months back. When I saw the cover with two women I thought to myself ‘ One more book about women’s probably a sad oppressive life. Who wants to read that?’ and I did not buy it. Now thinking back I wish I had bought it and read. Now my response to all the questions:
I certainly would recommend this book to others.
I came to USA in 1974. I had heard about the religious/political revolution led by Khomeni in Iran at that time. I had no idea how difficult things were during revolution. The author Nasifi has given an excellent insight to the life of women during the revolution. I identify myself with the author and I like freedom especilally intelectual. Of course I would have joined her club knowing quite well the risks involved.
I admire all the women who participated in the book club and their courage to deal with the day to day events. Nasifi’s girls are survivors confirming the historical notation ‘ Women are survivors’ We have seen this time and again.
The word freedom, its meaning is persived differently by for different people. Freedom of soul and mind and our thoughts is something we all have and nobody can take away from us. This is what the girls and the author enjoyed in their club and discussions. They escaped into a different world in discussing the characters in the various books they read and made those characters true and alive. The Republic of Iran did have any control on their thoughts. The ‘freedom’ the revolution took of these women was external. The revolution controlled how women dressed and walked and where they went etc. That is all they could do. There was a lot hypocrasy in all this.
I would have worn the chador convincing myself that it only a piece of cloth or a ‘dress code’ and would not have paid much attention to it. It would not have been worth going to jail or losing the job by refusing to comply with the so called ‘rules’.
I have read all of Austen’s books. She is one of my favorites.
I believe in self respect. It is more important to me. Jane Austen’s heroines value their self respect and I identify with them.
Some times dreams are better than reality. It probably true. However we have to dream first to make that a reality. This is what the girls and Nasifi did. Although they all struggled for a while with their true feelings and the external pressures and rights and wrongs, finally they all did what they felt was right for them. It took a while but they did it. They all got their ‘ FREEDOM’. I am always amazed how we women survive under the worst circumstances and come out strong and powerful and get what we really want, if we know what we want.
I had met a woman from Iran not too long ago. I asked her about how things are there and if the women are forced to wear the veil. She said things are better. She said all that she has to do is to wear a neck scarf.
Nafisi’s book ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ is a great book. I identify myself with all the girls and the author at one time or the other through out the book. I enjoyed it immencely. She is great. She has brought up all the conflicts, reasonings, frustrations during the revolution quite well in her book
I learnt that ‘Freedom is something not to be taken lightly or for granted’ At the same time it is important that we keep our self respect and do what we think is best for us as individuals.
Regarding question number 11 which is more important self respect or happiness, I can’t imagine that one can be happy without self respect.
Thank you for your insightful comments, K.R. Saroja! I especially enjoyed your point of view on the question of whether the dream is sometimes better than reality. You made an excellent point that sometimes we have to dream first in order to make it a reality. I had never thought about it in this context before. It is true that some of our most treasured “realities” may never have come about if we had never dreamed of their existence in the first place.
I absolutely agree with K.R. Saroja that we could not make anything become a reality if we had notdreamt of it before! Dreaming and making plans for the future in our minds is, in my opinion, the nourishment of our mind as necessary as food for our survival. I could not imagine my life without dreams and plans for the future to perform and strive to ake them get true! An I must confess that a lot of those that were just dreams many years ago when I was a young girl and had no grounds to think they would ever get true have become a reality throughout my life because those dreams have given me the right kick and strength to fight for them! So my advice is ‘Let’s go on dreaming! There is no harm in that! It can only push us to wards new challenges!’